I have a giant headache, the kind that makes me feel like I need to lean over the porcelain potty. I drank a little more than half of an extra large Mr. Pibb, after not having soda in a loooonnnnggg time. Too much caffeine maybe? Or the lack of sleep I've had lately? I finally have a 3 yr old who sleeps all night, but the toddler wakes up at 3 or 3:30 am no matter what time she goes to sleep, which is when Sean leaves for work, and I can't go back to sleep.
Right now I'm watching the 3 yr old bounce his head on his bed over and over, there's something wrong with that child but, boy, do I love him! Children can frustrate you like no other and make you love like no other, he's been mr. NO! lately, grrrrr, 'tis the time I guess. Lots of time outs and tears... from both of us.
All I ever wanted after having children is to be able to stay at home with them to raise them myself (and with my wonderful husband of course). As with most people I'm sure, financially, it's a challenge to do so. There are many days lately, when I have two screaming little ones or a mr. NO! in my face or I'm leaning down cleaning up dirt off the floor and down the stairs that was flung out of the plant pot (2 days in a row), that I think "I really don't like my job, really, really don't like it". Then I get the sweetest hug around my back to tell me that she's sorry, or the sweetest little voice saying "Mommy, help, pleeeeese?", or the little boy pinning the big boy on the ground trying to kiss him on the mouth, or the most awesome hug from my 9 yr old and he tells me that I'm "the best mom in the whole world!" Of course I'm not but it's so nice to hear. It's then that I realize how very very lucky and blessed I am, to have the job I've always wanted, and the best husband that there ever was to make it work for us. I'm so grateful for my life. I complain a lot, and I even caught myself saying "This has been the worst day ever!" but it wasn't. I'm so, so glad that I've never had the worst day ever, and I really hope that I never do, because that would mean that I've lost someone that I love so very much. I am so grateful to love so fully and to be loved. Nothing makes life better than that!
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4 comments:
I hear ya. It's my favorite job and the most frustratingly hard job too. Wouldn't have it any other way :)
(sniff)
Ditto, my friend. Mr. NO! and dirt included.
This made me cry! You're 100% right in everything you said! Believe it or not in a few more years you"ll ong for the days you're going through now- you tend to forget the dirt on the floor etc...
Love ya sis!
awe! I think I might have cried! Seriously!
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